I realized this week, my heart has been slowly healing through what Dr. Joan Borysenko terms “radical creativity”.
For 19 months, I’ve unconsciously been engaged in an ongoing, focussed, baby-stepped creation here in our garden…an act of what I would call ‘persistent creativity’.
This is what I started with.
Nothing really…it was a tree stump.
I don’t have a BEFORE picture because I didn’t realize I was creating something when I started. So imagine one big tree, clear cut in the garden. An exposed stump about 4 inches high.
That stump wasn’t pretty and I had to walk by it everyday at our new home. It looked lonely and sad (and flat) this tree stump. It needed some love and to be honest, looking at it reminded me of how raw and vulnerable I felt everyday when I got out of bed.
This stump would become the focus of my persistent creativity…but not right away.
On my first visit to the ocean in November of 2012,
with our little dog in our new neighbourhood, I found a heart-shaped stone.
Our dog is a sniffer so there is not much walking that really goes on. Mostly a lot of shuffling and waiting for him to finish sniffing.
It’s kind of boring + restful and I find myself looking at the ground a lot.
On that first visit I looked down and there was the first stone. It was clearly heart-shaped.
I picked it up (you would have done the same…) and considered it a private message intended just for me, a reminder that even though my entire life had turned upside-down, that there would be love in this part of the world too. Soon.
I kept the stone in my pocket…for a long time…it was a promise of some kind.
One day found several more heart-shaped stones in one visit. I picked those up too. This went on day and after day for many weeks. Of course, I was taking them out of my pockets by this time and they were sitting by the sink, by the door, in my work space. They were gathering. The way a small child gathers.
Then it started. I was compelled to cover the stump with heart-shaped stones. They were so small no one even noticed what I was doing at first. Then I found some BIG stones and small heart-shaped shells and added them too.
I started to count them. 12 stones. 15 stones. 28 stones. 45 stones. 62 stones. I kept track the way a 5 year old does. Imagining how long it would take to cover the stump. A loooong time.
One day, I added our 
mosaic.
It was made by a group of children in 2008 and gifted to me in celebration of my marriage that year.
My husband noticed. Are you collecting rocks? he said. Yes. I said. Heart-shaped ones. They’re messages for me and I get them at the beach. Looks nice. he said.
By the fall of 2013 (a year later) it looked like this…
No more room on the stump!
Tidy.
This is what it looks like today…
A litt
le unwieldy. A sprawling giant heart-shaped installation.
One stone at a time. About 6 feet across and 4 feet tall.
19 months of collecting. Hundreds of stones.
It’s spread to the garden itself and I have to pull weeds now. I even take time to remove the leaves from the arbutus trees as they shed (did you know arbutus trees lose their leaves in the spring and summer…not the fall?)
So…my lesson?
Time doesn’t heal all wounds.
Wounding is just an opportunity to create something new, something unexpected.
This tree stump was something I could actively + persistently love. A natural canvas that allowed me to engage naturally with my new topsy-turvy world and put a bit of my own soul into a space that I don’t own….a space I will leave for sure. My liminal abode.
Next post…I talk about The Liminal Phase. It’s part of the Map of the Territory for resilient folks going through transformation.
So tell me…
anyone out there in the liminal phase?
Any one dealing/healing with it through acts of persistent or radical creativity?
It was so nice to read (& see) how beautifully your garden has grown. I can almost envision your heart shaped stone hearts growing larger each year. That’s a lot of LOVE!!
I love how you looked for and found the heart shaped stones, and used them collectively for something beautiful and pleasing.. You got an important lesson from time too 🙂 Thanks for sharing Susan.
Yes, our old buddy time…:)…always giving us something. xo
what a beautiful idea. I love how you transformed the stump into a work of art with all of this gorgeous heart rocks and the mosaic.
Thanks, Sarah!
Such a beautiful story of heart. No pun intended! Radical Creativity you ask? For me, the Wild Woman Mystery Cards and every product I ever did, and any writing I ever do . . . always an exploration of self and undying persistent act of allowing myself to become all I can be and hopefully allowing others to come a long for their own journeys as well. What I love most… what moves my heart the most … in your post… is your heart. It goes on forever, like your healing altar . . . and I just love that … thank you Susan… xoxoxo
Elizabeth! You embody Radical Persistent Creativity with color, aliveness and vibrancy. Your journey carries us all somehow. sigh…your heart seems to leave little bits of love here on my blog whenever you visit…thank YOU. xoxoxo
Ohhhh… I’ve been noticing heart-shaped stones lately. I take photos of them when I see them. 🙂 Love the metaphors here, Susan. I can’t wait to read next week’s post! xo
P.S. I have a sniffer, too! 🙂
beautiful, susan. and especially meaningful to me. you see, i found a heart-shaped rock – with a crack through it – soon after my beloved mom passed away. i have kept it with her ashes ever since.
That is so lovely, April. What a lovely way to feel a connection to your mom. It’s so great that nature makes these heart-shaped things and we find them at precisely the right moments.
“Persistent creativity” I jotted this down…hmmmm yes! I must remember this one. Resilience is a very crucial part in our healing an growth. Thank you for sharing this. I have my own stash of heart shaped rocks..even found a heart shaped potato recently 🙂
heart-shaped potato?! that just makes me smile:)
That is absolutely beautiful and symbolic. I love how you took something and transformed it into something wonderful. I also really like the process, it is how it is in life. Transformation takes time, consistency, and effort. Thank you for sharing this!
Thanks, Cathy:)
“Wounding is just an opportunity to create something new, something unexpected.”
I am walking through a healing phase in my life. It may be the reason for my health issues at the moment. But I will continue to walk and know that it’s not about the time, it’s about creating something new. Thanks for this lesson Susan. It was right on time!
When I feel I need emotional healing, I love creating collages by using Photoshop. Putting images together, it creates a specific environment for me and my clients to reflect on what hurts them the most and help me or them in their healing process. I totally love those heart stones! Please keep inspiring!
Zaria
Thank you, Zaria:) I’m off to visit your site!