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How to cope with big emotions during a pandemic

How to cope with big emotions during a pandemic


We are having big emotions during our pandemic.  Some of them are like internal tidal waves.


They can be so big, so constant, so immersive we just need to get away from these feelings.  In fact, we’ll do anything to get away from them.  Some people will drink too much, eat too much or spend too much in order to get away from big emotions.  Some people pick fights.  All in an attempt to avoid being in the same room with emotions.


The only way I’ve found to truly create the space I crave from big emotions, is to treat them as a crowd of people without manners.  I move myself out of the way in service to this crowd.


I find a place to sit where I can turn my awareness to the swirl of activity in my mind and in the home of my heart.  It really is a bit like a child swinging outside looking back in to the house through a big picture window.  Swinging and watching.


I pay quiet attention to the feelings, the joy, the meanness, the sorrows, the shame.  I really focus on them until something magic happens.  I let them move about, creating havoc and dancing their dance.  I don’t take it personally….I let them turn up the music and give them even more space to swirl and crash until they lay down completely exhausted.


The Guest House

This being human is a guest house, every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

AFT & Feelings Wheel

AFT & Feelings Wheel

AromaFreedom Technique Tools

As we move through the AFT process we identify feelings in present time as well as feelings that may be associated with past events and then use special essential oil blends to help move through those feelings.

This Feeling Wheel has been such a useful tool for me, sometimes in preparing for a session, in reviewing a session or for my client to use directly.

At the core of this chart there are 6 feeling words: mad, sad, scared, joyful, powerful, peaceful

Each one expands outward with words that can be ever so much more descriptive.

There are many kinds of feeling wheels…do a google search for feeling wheel, click “images” and see the huge variety!

A circle of women (a valentine musing)

A circle of women (a valentine musing)













” The invisible power of women’s circles on the women in them grows out of the power that people have on one another, which is extraordinary.

Anyone’s self-esteem, accomplishment, development of talent, has to do with whether we have been listened to and valued, loved for ourselves, encouraged and supported to do what we believed we could do.

When there is psychological or practical support for making a significant change, change is more likely to happen.  That others believe in us, or have the same perspective we have, or are role models, has a powerful and invisible effect.

The power to resist the collective comes from being in a small circle with like-minded others.  It allows us to keep on in the face of ridicule or opposition that we don’t know what we are talking bout, or don’t belong wherever it is that we want to be.”  (Jean Shinoda Bolen)

Who are the people in your life who listen to

and value what you say and who you are?





We all need someone(s) to bear witness when we are struggling, changing, suffering, confused, wondering, seeking.



I am adept at managing and trying to wind my way through challenges independently and what I’ve discovered is that when I really NEED help…it would be better if I would actually stop being so independent.  This is a sign I’ve fallen into a well-worn adaptive pattern.

My early childhood years were a bit chaotic (and full of love) and what it meant is I learned not to depend on the grown-ups around me.  I learned to try to support myself, work it out myself, lean on myself.  It was ever so much easier to just lead my life by myself.

It really works for me even now that I know better!


It exhausts me, frustrates me and leaves me without access to the ease I really crave in my life.

I recall learning from the world around me that women’s circles were a bit scary because the women in them were scary to my young self.  Many of the women in my family didn’t have the ability to effectively interact with someone as sensitive as my very young girl self.

In my 20’s, while working as a classroom teacher, I had the opportunity to experience circles of women in my profession.  They were a bit scary to me too.  I found safety in becoming a leader in this world.   I didn’t really like depending on these women though.  They were not the kind of social circle that encouraged creativity or risk-taking or soft, tender heart-opening work.

I avoided circles of women for decades.


I learned that I prefer private counselling when I’m struggling.


I won’t share my vulnerabilities as freely with a group.


And that’s ok.

As an older adult, I’ve been fortunate to discover there are lovely, encouraging, supportive, beautiful women’s circles.


And I take part when I feel called.


I offer to lead or co-lead circles in my own home.  This is possible now because of a business I ran for 20 years.

In the 1990’s, I opened a music and movement school for babies and children.  I became the queen of a tiny kingdom.  It was wonderful!

I had the huge blessing to have facilitated thousands of circles with moms and dads and their infants and young children through my music and movement work at Musicalia.

This was ever so much safer than being with JUST women.


There was a kind of safety in this work that can really only exist when we all have a single focus on our younger generation and everyone is offering respect to one another.


This looked like softer gazes, a willingness to forgive, a willingness to try harder to understand and feel compassion for others and leading these groups I could feel that flow and connection between the members of every class.  I was able to call that out in so many people because of the social/energetic containers or structures I created for the families.


These small groups of 8 families or less, allowed us all to resist collectives at schools, in the parking lot, on the parent advisory boards, in our extended families and in the outer community.


Time spent weekly with these like-minded folk, gave us all a shared sense of the importance of kindness and cooperation as we sang, talked, danced and played music.


This would never have been possible without the nurturing care of my own counsellors.  Taking the time to heal my own heart in therapy during my 20’s and 30’s helped me to grow up.  It helped me to grow into the kind of person who could hold space for others.


I think I would affectionately be referred to as “the wounded healer”…someone who has sustained deep emotional wounding and done the inner work to become a safe haven for others searching to heal their own inner wounds.

Maybe you are in the process of healing inner wounds or wish there was a safe place for you to bring light to those shadowy places inside.  If that’s you, I have created a healing space designed for the exact purpose.  It’s called Breathing Space.

Read more about Breathing Space here

I invite you to contact me for an initial conversation.

Copaiba Essential Oil

Copaiba Essential Oil


Copaiba has almost no scent and is made from a tree resin (like Frankincense).  It’s considered to be one of the most powerful anti-inflammatory substances on earth and a pain relief oil used in Peruvian traditional medicine.

It’s neuroprotective and anti-everything according to the research and reference books.


        • You can put it in the diffuser,

        • you can eat it,

        • mix with honey for a sore throat,

        • apply to skin for almost any skin condition,

        • it’s calming and useful for anxiety conditions.



It’s so good for us, regulatory boards kinda won’t let us say how good it is…I have linked to various studies below so you can read some of the research that is available though.

If you’re not using your Copaiba essential oil….go find it…and use it!  We’re so lucky to have it.



If you’ve been wondering what to do with Copaiba in your starter kit…Bonnie (a personal trainer and member of our Facebook groups) says,

“I do 2 drops of Copaiba under my tongue whenever I see the bottle.

I want this oil running thru my veins at all times.

It’s also in all my muscle mixes.”


Copaiba essential oil is a distilled oil from an oleoresin called copaiba.This resin is produced as a sap from a tree in South America from the Copaifera genus.  Copaiba is considered to be one of the most anti-inflammatory substances on earth.



Healthy skin

According to this study Copaiba applied topically helps to reduce acne.  It’s also known to help reduce appearance of wrinkles and to strengthen the skin as we get older.  It’s often used to treat scars to speed healing and reduce visibility.



Healthy teeth

The Open Dentistry Journal tells us that the studies of Copaiba make it potent oral care agent with its potent antimicrobial properties!




Indigenous peoples of Brazil use Copaiba for healing

I didn’t know this until recently…Copaiba is a traditional remedy used for the treatment of

skin and urinary tract infections,

respiratory diseases,


ulcer and tumours,

playing an important role in the primary health care of the indigenous population of Brazil.  This was shown to be true and is written about here in Pubmed…find out more here!

The Raindrop Technique

The Raindrop Technique


Have you ever experienced a Raindrop Massage?


I have received and given many.  Even our pets can benefit from a modified Raindrop!


The Raindrop is a light massage but the oils give depth and power to that gentleness.  It’s really one of my favorite ways to relax and care for my nervous system and immune system simultaneously.


Book your Raindrop  Massage now

  click here


There are several types of Raindrop

  1.  The traditional Raindrop Technique will leave you scented like pizza!  (oregano, basil, thyme, marjoram, wintergreen, cypress, peppermint, aroma siez, valor, white angelica…).  Only a few drops of each are used and each one affects the body and the brain uniquely. Highly recommended for relaxation, pain relief, better sleep, immune strengthening and stress release.
  2. The Emotion Raindrop using Young Living blends formulated to assist and facilitate deep emotional release and cleansing.  (Valor, Release, Present Time, Inner Child, Harmony, Forgiveness)  A gentle but powerful process, especially when dealing with things that have been buried for a long time.  We address years of habitual programming, layers of conditioning, blocks created by our own grief, anxiety, fears, regrets, desires, sadness, disappointments or traumas.  What are you facing right now?  We choose oils specifically for that.
  3. The Intuitive Raindrop allows us to choose the perfect oils for your Raindrop session.  The choosing of the oils is an exploratory and intuitively informed process.  Sessions can be profound as the oils we choose together are chosen specifically for you.  This is a completely customized Raindrop session dependent on what you wish to address that day.  Learn to use your intuition for choosing the right oils for yourself.



The Raindrop Massage was created by Gary Young, based on his research of essential oils and their antimicrobial properties, incorporating the Vita Flex technique and its reflex points on the feet.

While visiting the Lakota people, he learned about the historical migration across the Canadian/US border where the Lakota people would receive healing energy when the air was charged with the colors of the Aurora Borealis.

They would inhale this energy, allowing it to pass through their spine to afflicted areas of the body.  Many experienced dramatic healing effects through this practice.

Sadly, the Lakota people lost their freedom to travel across the borders and they began to practise this energy process mentally, accompanied with light stroking on the body to facilitate the spreading of energy through the body.

Gary discovered that the synergy of the feather-light stroking over the body, combined with the therapeutic power of essential oils and Vita Flex on the feet, created even deeper healing effects.


The Raindrop Technique uses a sequence of highly antimicrobial essential oils dropped onto the back of the recipient.  The drops are dropped from above like rain along the spine.

Each step of the process incorporates a different massage technique and a different oil.


Up to ten (10) oils are used in the traditional Raindrop, with varying light motions, deeper massage and gentle rubbing along the spine and the feet.


At least 6 oils are used in the Emotion Raindrop and 6-10 in the Intuitive Raindrop.

Treatments can be completed within an hour.  The relaxing, healing and immune boosting effects may last for days.


The benefits:

  • relaxation
  • stress release
  • emotional support
  • relief of body aches and pains
  • balancing for the mind and emotions
  • sleep more soundly with deeper release


When to have a Raindrop?

  • one session to balance and relax the body
  • once a week for emotional support
  • once a month for immune support
  • once a season for continued health


Book your Raindrop  Massage now

  click here